Christmas Experiences
by Kaeera
Summary: A duckie christmas fic....The ducks have some weird experiences with human christmas customs...


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Disclaimer: The Mighty Ducks don't belong to me. Believe me! I'm honest....

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Notes: I...I did it...I wrote a Christmas ficcie....*gasps*

This is for all the people who like Mighty Ducks – out there, somewhere in the space. There aren't many, but together we are strong *coughs* 

It's a mindless little story which was in my head; ya know, I was on the Christmas market, and it looked so nice and...._christmas-like _that I just had the urge to write a story.

Ah, something else: I was inspired to write this by Becks. She wrote a story about how strange Halloween for Nosedive must be, because they don't know our customs, and this reminded me of the fact that the ducks don't know Christmas, either...Thanks Becks, for writing me and for the inspiration to this story! You are great!

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Christmas Experiences 

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by Kaeera

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It was a sunny winter day in Anaheim. White snow was glittering on the roofs, turning the usually grey city in a place of a fairy tale.

Mallory enjoyed the view. It reminded her of Puckworld. After all, she was born to live in the ice of snow, it was her element.

Whistling she entered the shopping centre. She had to admit that it had become an habit of her – shopping. Although she didn't buy things very often, she found it entertaining to stroll down the streets, visiting human things like make-up. Make-up....it was strange for her. Of course, they did have that on Puckworld, but not that extreme. For example lipstick. Human lips might look good with red color on them, but a duck beak looked simply idiotic. And there were so many things – sometimes she believed that human women only lived for beauty. But then again, she didn't know any women on earth, so she couldn't just assume this.

Lost in though she made her way through half of the mail, until something caught her attention.

She froze. The mall and the shops were decorated – but how! Everywhere she looked she noticed little pictures or statues from thick men in a red costume, with a white beard. And they all had a silly grin on their faces. The shops itself were decorated with green mistletoes, or with balls which were sparkling in all colors. It looked rather odd, Mallory thought.

But why the sudden change? 

Curious she stepped inside a shop and searched for someone who could give her an answer to her question. 

"Excuse me?"

The man looked up, and an surprised expression went over his face. Mallory, like the other ducks, was used to this. They were all causing surprise or nervousness in one form or another.

"May I help you?"

"Can you tell me why you have decorated your shop like this?"

The man looked even more surprised. "Well, because it is Christmas.", he finally said, as if that would be the answer to her question. The red haired duck figured out that, in his eyes, it probably was.

"And, what exactly, is Christmas?", she wanted to know. 

Now he was shocked. "What, you don't know what Christmas is??"

Mallory sighed. "No, I have never heard of Christmas, as well as I have never heard of these little statues before. Now could you please explain me the reason?", she was really getting annoyed.

"It's a festival we celebrate every 24th December.", the man began. "The kids get presents then; and the adults tell them that it is Santa Clause which brings the presents."

"One man does bring all the presents?"

"No, not really", the man shifted uncomfortably, "In fact, the parents buy the presents, but it is an old tale which is told the little kids, and they believe until they get to old for this."

"And what is the sense of it?!"

The man just stared at her and stuttered: "Well, uhm, it's the time of the year where you should love everybody and...", he trailed off, not really knowing how to explain the sense of Christmas – everybody knew it, after all!

"If you excuse me now, I have to work!", he found a way to flee the uncomfortable discussion.

Mallory was confused. Christmas? Santa Clause? She had to search for a better explanation as the one she just got. 

Definitely.

* * *

"Wildwing, buddy, can you help me please?", Phil shouted, peeking around the corner into the living room of the ducks, where Wildwing was seated on a chair, reading a book.

The duck sighed, mentally cursing himself for not noticing Phil's arrival, so that he could have fled.

"What do you want?"

"Can you help me decorating the christmas tree?"

Christmas tree? Wildwing wondered and followed Phil, now curious. 

In the hall of the Pond he found a huge fir-tree. The snow on its branches was melting, forming large puddles of water on the ground.

That was a christmas tree? 

"What's that supposed to mean...", he turned towards the smaller man and blinked. He hadn't noticed it before, but it seemed as if Phil had bought a new neck tie – with red dressed men on it, which were dancing with white snow-men. "Ehm...", he started, but couldn't find any intelligent to say. 

Phil on the other half, hadn't noticed his surprise and hurried over the room, taking some bags.

"Here, take these and put them on the tree.", he ordered Wildwing and handled him some huge red balls. The leader of the Mighty Ducks just watched them, trying to find some sense in this odd behaviour.

"Why shall I do that?"

"Because it is christmas, dude. Now, would you please begin? I still have other things to be taken care of." 

Christmas? This word had to mean something, the duck figured out, believing that it was probably a human invention which did no harm. And with a last sigh, he put the first ball on the tree.

And the next. And a third one. And....

When Duke returned home from is little trip, he was more than surprised to find his leader in the hall, happily putting big red things which reminded him somehow of apples( and with this to the fact that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast).

"May I ask you what you are doing?", he stepped nearer, startling his leader.

"Oh", Wildwing stuttered, feeling somehow stupid, "I am decorating the christmas tree."

"The what??"

"Ehm....the Christmas tree."

Wildwing didn't like the look Duke gave him. It made him feel as if he had gotten crazy – which could be the truth, he had to admit; if somebody had told him this morning that he would decorate something like a _christmas_ tree, he would have called this person mad.

"It makes kinda fun", he offered, hoping he could convince the ex-thief that his leader hadn't become crazy over night.

"I can imagine.", Duke stated dryly, watching the arrangement Wing had made.

"But I think you should have put this ball more to the left side."

Wing took a step back and watched the spot Duke pointed to. "No, I don't think so. It has to be like that, because it makes a nice form with the other balls.", he told the older duck wisely.

"No, it's not right!", Duke insisted, "You see, if you put it there, it makes a straight line with the other four balls, and it looks more tidy then."

"I don't want to look it tidy. I want it to form nice pics."

"So? I don't see any pics there!"

"You can, you just have to use your imagination. You see, if you watch the four balls on the bottom and the one above, it looks like a dog!"

"I don't see a dog anywhere."

"You just don't want to!"

"Well, it seems a little bit stupid to do that..."

Wildwing threw his hands in the air. "Alright, stop complaining. Go and search your own christmas tree, I will finish mine!"

"Oh Wing, that's unfair, I wanna do some decorating, too!", Duke pleaded, but Wing didn't listen. He had a difficult task to accomplish!

* * *

"What are you doing??", Nosedive asked perplexed, watching his friends. The young duck had just wanted to visit Thrash and Mookie, but now he found himself in a shop which looked so incredibly...stupid that he couldn't find the words to describe it.

First off all, the two had put strange glittering stuff at every possible (and impossible) place in the little room. Most of the comic figures they sold wore read outfits and hats with white fur. Little stars made of paper were decorating the window. And, top of all, they had hung up a wallpaper with the letters: "Santa is an alien!" on it.

"Who's Santa?", Dive wondered loudly, "I am an alien and I have never heard of it."

"It's Santa Clause, you idiot", Mookie told him, entering the room with a box in her hands.

"Who's Santa Clause??"

"An old guy who brings the children presents!", Thrash commented, "Don't you aliens have one?!"

"I don't think so.", Nosedive mumbled, watching a little Santa Clause figure which started singing in a high, pitching voice.

"How boring. Do you never get presents?"

"Sure we do.", Nosedive declared and glanced down on the small Santa, which had started to dance now. "Well, but ours aren't usually that stupid.", he admitted matter-of-factly.

He searched for the 'off-button', but didn't find one. "So this guy brings presents to all kids? Man, that's sure a hard job!". Taking the figure, he discovered that it hadn't got a cable – therefore pulling the plug out of the socket couldn't be considered.

"Oh man!", Thrash groaned, "Of course he doesn't bring the presents to all kids. In fact, he doesn't bring _any_ presents. It's just an old legend, and we humans like to celebrate it and to give each other presents."

"Aha.", Nosedive stated, shaking the Santa. Suddenly the head broke off and rolled down the table. The duck immediately caught it, glancing nervously at his friends if they had noticed it. 

They hadn't. Unfortunately the Santa hadn't noticed it, too, because he continued his singing even louder.

"On Puckworld, we only got presents on our birthday.", he tried to distract the two, so that he could repair the damaged Santa. 

"Ha, so the kids on earth live better than the kids on your planet!", Mookie laughed and put a few comics into the cupboard.

Nosedive couldn't answer. In his attempt of repairing he had somehow managed it to break off the arms. Briefly he wondered how Mookie would react and if he would survive it.

"It's odd, this Santa Clause Day.", he said slowly, putting the figure in his pocket.

"It's called Christmas."

"Oh."

* * *

Mallory was on her way back to the Pond when she met Nosedive. "Oh no, not you too!", she groaned, when she realised that the younger duck was carrying a small statue of Santa Clause in his hands. "Hey!", Nosedive said insulted, "I didn't do anything wrong, well, this time at all events."

Mallory pointed to the object in his hands. "This christmas cult – obviously it has gotten you, too!"

Nosedive stared down on it, then looked at Mallory and started laughing.

"Seems...", he choked out between giggles, "Seems that I am not the only one who has had some weird experiences."

Mallory snorted. "Oh well, weird isn't the right word – I would call it CRAZY!"

They both entered the Pond. "Hey, I mean, they put this stupid decorations _everywhere_", Mallory complained, "Synthetic snow, parts of trees, a glittering thing they call _lametta_ and all the stupid pictures, wallpapers, calendars and cards with an old man in a red dress on it – this Santa Clause!"

Nosedive nodded. "Yeah, I was really kinda frightened when I entered the Comic shop...thought that somebody had changed the brains of my friends or so."

"It seems that around Christmas time every human being looses its brain and just thinks about presents and..._sentimental rubbish_!" , she spat out the last word as if it would be something very disgusting.

"Well, maybe it's something in the DNA", Nosedive wondered.

Mallory just laughed bitterly and grumbled: "Can't tell you how happy I am that ducks don't have this custom – it would be embar....", she stopped right in her track, for she had seen Duke and Wildwing.

Both, Nosedive's and Mallory's chins had dropped down at the sight of the huge Christmas tree which was standing in the hall.

"You...you...", Mallory stuttered, the shock evident in her face.

"Isn't it nice?", Duke stated prouldy, "It took us quite a long time to make it like that...." 

"Didn't you say something like 'ducks don't have such stupid customs'??", Nosedive commented dryly.

Mallory just glared at him. "Well, that was before I recognised that two of our members are infected with this cult.", she told him angrily.

"What are you two talking about?", Wildwing wanted to know and put some balls down on a table.

"Mallory was explaining that you've become nuts.", Nosedive grinned.

"Oh yes?", Wing stared at him, "May I remember you that it was _you_, my little brother, who managed it to destroy the lab only because you wanted to try out if your puck launcher works with Tabasco sauce?" 

"Well, but I always _told_ you that I am crazy, didn't I?"

"You are not alone; we others have a right to be crazy, too."

"Yeah, but you don't look as good as I do when I play mad!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yup!"

"You shouldn't have said that, Dive..."

* * *

Grin was meditating in his room, when a strange noise caught his attention. Immediately he stood up and walked through the door.

On his way to the hall he met Tanya, who was carrying some papers.

"Maybe I help you with your burden?", he asked politely.

"Oh, Grin...yes, thank you...", Tanya said, "That would be very nice...I was just researching..."

The voices of the other ducks were echoing through the rooms, and the duo wondered what had happened...it didn't sound like an attack, though, more like one of these endless arguments between Dive and Wing – but this time, the voices of Duke and Mallory were involved.

Like Nosedive and Mallory before, they both froze when they entered the hall. The sight was just too...weird!

There was Wildwing, still quarrelling with his little brother. Tanya could have bet that the two didn't know the reason _why_ they were fighting anymore, they just did it because nobody wanted to pull back.

"I have the impression that our friends are slightly irritated.", Grin stated. A nice way of describing they had become mad, Tanya thought. She herself couldn't resist the urge to scream.

Of course, she was used to the two brothers fighting, but she definitely wasn't used to Duke and Mallory trying to prevent each other from decorating a huge tree.

Which, how Tanya realised when she walked closer, was only Duke's intention. Mallory, on the opposite side, tried to destroy it.

Tanya looked down on the sheets in her hands. Looked up on her friends and decided that she didn't want to be infected by this strange illness, and hurried back.

"Let's go!", she told Grin. "Maybe they will be normal by the end of the day. I have no idea what's provoking this kind of behaviour."

"I think I know it.", Grin said and pointed to a large banner on the opposite side of the room, "It's christmas time!"

"Christmas?"

"Don't ask me; maybe a human invention."

* * *

"And I tell you, I am the one who's crazy!", Nosedive yelled.

"There are many people who are a lot of crazier than you!", Wing retorted.

"Tell me one!"

"For example this Christmas guy – honestly, it is impossible to bring presents to all kids in _one_ night!"

They both blinked. "Wildwing, tell me one thing...", Nosedive said slowly.

"What?"

"Why did we start fighting??"

Wildwing wanted to say something, but he realised that he did indeed _not_ know the reason why the fought. Which was quite odd, considered that they normally fought about three things: Nosedive's messy room, Nosedive's habitude to play jokes and Nosedive's pigheaded personality. 

"It was something about Christmas....", Wildwing's voice trailed of. Christmas. It had been only a few hours earlier when Phil had told him about this strange habit of decorating a tree...and now he was fighting over it. Really weird! What _was_ Christmas after all? A day where everybody celebrates and gives presents? A day where people get crazy and decorate everything and everyone? Or what?

"Yeah, Christmas...", Nosedive repeated, "They call it the 'festival of love and charity'. I didn't notice much love in the city, though.", the brothers glanced towards Duke and Mallory and sweatdropped.

Mallory was furious, and Duke tried to protect the Christmas tree with every possibility he had. They were on the edge of a serious fight, and Wing doubted that it wouldn't take long until Mallory would kill someone.

Nosedive sighed. "Sometimes I think that it's not me who's weird – I firmly believe that the whole human population is crazy!"

Wing nodded gravely. "You might be right. Just look at Phil...", they both snickered.

"Well, but I don't think that you can call _him_ human...have you ever seen how the women flee of him?", Nosedive added, grinning mischievously. Then an idea came into his mind.

"Wildwing?", he asked innocently. His brother turned around, noting the look in his brother's eyes. He groaned. "Oh no. Not that. What do you want, Dive?" 

"Well, every kid gets presents on Christmas Day....and I always wanted to have this computer game, ya know...", he smiled, resembling a small kid who's hoping to get candy.

"So you want presents?"

"Well, I mean, we are on earth now, we have to adjust....you surely understand that you have to be a good example, your position as a leader...", he looked so much like a business man that Wildwing could only laugh.

"Alright!", he choked out, wiping some tears of laughter away, "But you know that the human kids have to behave good if they want presents, don't they?"

Nosedive made a face. "I was hoping that you didn't have heard about this little detail."

"And failed a chance to annoy my baby bro'? No way!"

They both walked out of the room, leaving Duke and Mallory behind, who were still fighting. 

"Ya know bro'? I think I will give you some hair gel. Maybe then you will look a little bit better.", Nosedive voice echoed through the hall.

"I'm sure that I'll be happy about that."

"Admit it, you are just jealous that you don't look as good as I do!"

"I would be jealous, if I wanted to look like an complete idiot..."

"Who's an idiot?...."

Their voices became distant as they walked away. 

Tanya peeked around the corner. The Pond was silent now; Mallory and Duke had finally found an end – or maybe Mallory had just stomped Duke into the ground and was now burning the tree, Tanya figured out. The red haired duck was well-known for her temper. 

She sighed and took a little doll which was lying on the door. Full of thoughts she turned the little Santa Clause in her hands. 'Christmas time...'

'I wonder why they do this....'

And the Santa Clause started singing again....

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The End 

That's my way of telling you all a Merry Christmas. I hope that it will snow, and that you all enjoy this wonderful and special time of the year! Thank you all for reading my stories and for reviewing them!

THANK YOU! *starts sobbing* 

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MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(Or, in German: "Fröhliche Weihnachten und ein glückliches neues Jahr!!!!")

Oh yes, one last thing: This story was my first attempt on a humour fic...please don't kill me if it's bad. The Queen of Duck humour is still _PapillonStar_, and I could never reach her (I always laugh so much when I read her stories). LOVE YOU ALL! ~Kaeera


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